What motivates you to move to a new country?

What supported your decision to live in a different country? The reasons behind such choices are countless, and yet the underlying motivation can deeply shape your experience of the country in itself. 

John Mark Arnold

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Have you moved towards a dream or away from a nightmare?

Did you move to further your career, to meet a new culture, to learn a new language? These are examples of 'towards' motivations - ways of describing something that inspires you to take steps in the direction of a specific goal.

Did you decide to leave because the conditions of your country of origin became unbearable? The politics of your country or your family might have meant that you couldn't fully be yourself, or even worse, you were persecuted and leaving was a forced choice. These are examples of moving 'away from' motivations which focus on what you're leaving behind.

Did you leave in order to support a family member's life project or career? This is an example of how you could be motivated towards something, and yet this something is about someone else and not you directly and therefore can potentially stir up a variety of feelings. Anything ranging from a sense of a deeper bond with your other half to feeling a loss of direction in your life

The type of motivation supporting your choice to move abroad can affect your resilience in dealing with real (or perceived) barriers in the new country.

It will affect how much determination, creativity or patience you'll have to solve all those tiny (or major) obstacles that we encounter in life. Renting a private flat without being taken advantage of, opening a bank account without all those proofs of address and so on.

Once you have achieved the first positive results, your motivation can dip

Once you have achieved the first milestones of living a decent life in a new country, if you were motivated by leaving the past behind, it will be harder to maintain a positive outlook and to be open to further change.

Belinda Fewings

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However, 'towards' motivation tends to build and strengthen as time goes on, making you more resilient and open to change... making your journey smoother.

Whether your choice is underlined by towards-motivations or away-from-motivations, will determine how resilient you'll be in overcoming those barriers and challenges that living in a new country will inevitably throw on your path. Everyone has enough stamina to work out how to register with the doctor and overcome the barriers of renting a house, but it will be mainly those motivated towards something already existing in the new country that will find the energy to overcome one, two, three, ten, fifty barriers that building a new life will throw in their way.

For instance, those clients of mine who chose to move abroad have been overall better disposed to completely reworking their CV. Rewriting your CV and/or a Job Application in such a way to stand out in a new country and a new culture can be arduous because skills and experiences aren't valued in the same way. Anglo-Saxon culture rewards personal success stories even when projects don't thrive in a way that other cultures do less. To succeed you need to learn how to repackage your work experience. It's doable.

The question is, will it drain all your energy? Will it leave you unsure about what you are good at? It's possible.

​It's likely to be harder for those who have left a country they wish they could go back to. Moving back or moving on again is always an option. One you don’t want to take too lightly. 

Making staying easier - How to motivate yourself without criticism of yourself or of your new country

• Focus on the present 

Take the pressure away and focus on the present and what can you do to make your stay more enjoyable. You are here, you might as well learn something about this place. Find three things you WANT TO DO next month. Start small and build a bigger picture of your new city: map your city and find three eateries that are worthy of a visit; get involved in activities; check out the museums.  

• Find one thing a week to be grateful for

It has been scientifically proven that is not possible to be both grateful and unmotivated at the same time. Find one thing to be grateful for a week - no matter how small or apparently insignificant.
 

• Make new connections

Meeting new people is the key to integrating into a new country. Getting involved in a society or volunteering are common recommendations, however they can be simpler for extroverts than introverts. If you are an introvert, let me reassure you, to feel more connected you don't need to find your next best friend or hang out with a large and noisy group of people. You need to find a friendly face with whom to exchange a few words, a couple of smiles and perhaps a little laugh. Where to start? Is there a cafe near where you live? Cafe workers are often migrants themselves, and so likely to be patient with people with an accent, plus they might be ahead of you in mapping out the ins and outs of this new place. Great material for small talk - trust me a 'where are you from?'; 'how long have you been here?'; or 'how do you find it?' can get you a long way!